Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Rage for a while
Six months , A year -Indefinite
You cling to the white columns of your sanity
And hope they don't crumble..
The sun shines through the clouds
Ang you feel the ghost of a smile
Hovering on your lips
Little do you know
About the scorching heat
That would sap the hope and make you yearn for showers again..
The whoosh of the snow storm brings in the chill and the emptiness
You hug yourself ,bite your cracked lips and hold back the tears..and trudge on
The flowers bloom then ..one at a time
They grow in your heart and the fragrance envelopes you ..
The stars on earth warm your heart..
You smile and greet the new season and not forget the past..
Friday, November 27, 2009
You wield the metal spoon with a finesse that eludes me
The concentric circles on the pan
Settle down in their rightful place under the sun..
Your movements are measured and efficient
The dosa's golden heart seems to gleam
And the kitchen seems brighter
I blink ..The spell is broken..
And at the right moment
You flip them and drop them into the gaping plates..
The perfect Sunday Brunch
Wait patiently and wield your aura
I run out of steam ..The curses and my raging are consumed by your constancy
The myriad emotions in the kaleidoscope of my confused mind
Settle down and form the brilliant glass flower
Whose radiance drive the bleak thoughts away
The smile on your face grows
The Rainbow's gold glows in my heart
I take your hand and the love courses through my soul
Contentment and peace
In our Almost perfect Lives
Her mouth watered when she thought of the fish...The last time she ate fish curry was when her eldest sister had come home. The feast was more for her brother-in-law's benefit than Akka's (Akka-elder sister). Everyone knew that Akka detested fish and all things from the sea..This ensured her a high listing in her husband's bad books...
Amma had tried to appease Sundram -Akka's husband -that day ..After all what woman worth her salt would not please her husband with dainty dishes cooked to perfection for the discerning palate...
Subbu remembered her mother's eagerness to please her son-in-law and snorted ..Did not Akka come back with a broken rib the very next week-courtesy -overcooked fish curry that offended the same discerning palate..
Anyway-Subbu shook her head to rid herself of unpleasant thoughts..Nothing would come in between her and pleasure of eating a well cooked meal today..Each day she sat with her mother in the market to sell the home grown tomatoes and greens .. Sweating and listening to her mother's litany of the past had saddened her..but by now she had perfected an expression of sympathy on her face while her mind wandered....She smiled a secret smile in anticipation of the treat ahead..
The smile ended before it began ..She peeked at the street corners and heaved a big sigh when she did not see Amma's friends around.There would be hell to pay if they remarked about her smiling on the roads..Amma would launch into one of her lectures on how unmarried girls should behave ..
Akka's husband's fathers' second cousin had come with a peace offering .. Akka had moaned from the interiors of the hut while Amma entertained the cousin with banana and wails about Akka's cooking..Subbu had looked longingly at the peace offering..It wasn't everyday that prime catch was available in the house..
Akka came out and looked at the peace offering -sighed and wound her unkempt hair.She left home after lunch with jasmine in her hair and Amma's new sari. Amma lighted special incense sticks ..
Subbu was furious-Amma had promised her the new sari for Pongal and everybody had conveniently forgotten.She went out to sulk . Amma had called out to her " Subbu -Would you like some fish curry for the night ".. Subbu stopped cursing all of them and a happy light came to her eyes..
Amma had then ordered her to get some bottle gourd from her friends Koki's house.
Koki's house was three miles away from theirs..
Subbu was coming back home from the errand....It had been a long walk-The evening sun scorched her feet ....Subbu didn't mind ..
The thought of the dish kept her going..As she entered her street she could smell Amma's fish curry...
She heard his voice before she saw him..Anna (elder brother) disappeared from home often-He worked with a cinema unit..When he came back home he told funny stories about fat heroes and young heroines...Amma boasted about it to everyone on the street ..Subbu had noticed that they all looked at Amma with pity when she spoke with pride..
Anna always came back home unannounced, ate , took money from home and disappeared.
Ate-Subbu stepped out of her reverie and looked at the pot-Amma was dishing out the last portions onto Annas plate with a pleased expression ..
Anna noticed her first -"Subbu Come Come" and ginned ..Amma glanced at her and turned her adoring gaze to her son..."Child" Amma admonished -"Greet your Anna"..
Subbu swallowed the hot burning tears ,plastered a smile and said -"Vaa(Come) Anna"
Monday, May 11, 2009
We are getting ready for the big event...
Being the "cluckety-cluck" Mom I am ..
I had been giving him a big lecture on Good Friday..
I told him that Jesus died on the cross for us ....and how painful it must have been for him..
He listened to all this ..and was very sober for a couple of minutes...
And it was back to jumping on the well-worn sofa..
We said our prayers and went to bed..
He wanted to know about the Cross....
And I told him that it was a kind of tree and Jesus was hung from it..
He looked happy for a minute and assured me ..
"Dont worry Mom-Spiderman would swing from the tree and definitely rescue him.."
Wish I had thot of that !
Here's to a contemplative Good Friday and a happy Easter
Monday, May 4, 2009
A trivial portion of Chotu's non-stop chatter for the day :(and a better part of the nite)
You can visit us any time of the day ..
We guarantee non-stop entertainment
Non stop switching of all the cartoon channels
Mom on the sofa-yes on top of it..
The floor is littered with toys and playmates -the plastic kind Of course-What did you think..
And the roaches racing for the piece of roti I thoughtfully left for them on the sofa...
That was y'day....
Maybe I will repeat the kind act during lunch today..and hopefully see more of them
Wow listen to that Screaming ..
Guess Mom saw the roach....or the roach saw Mom..
Is that my WATER GUNnnnnnnnnn..
Wet the bed -Not literally of course..
What do you think-That happened last night ..
I am older now ..
How about the folded clothes..Hmm gotta plan the target..
When can I go down to play?
Is it evening yet ?
What time of the day is it ?
Is there anything to eat?
Can I cut your hair ?
Amma's (as in Mommy) take on the situation :
It is that time of the year when it lands..in each home where a tiny tot resides...
This year ..
It is the first for me ...
I was not prepared..
This is on the bed
This is below the bed..
It is 12.00 in the nite and I am still cleaning..
Sleepy and Sighin
I have no "take" on anything !!!!
This I have to say tho- and I really mean it
I can't wait for him to wake up ..
And ask all those questions...
Monday, March 30, 2009
Puppies, Kittens and a vasectomy for the street dog..
Are they more important than a man's limbs, his dignity, and his faith?
It does appear so..
Freedom of speech seems to mean more than tolerance and letting people live their lives...
Where are the leaders?
The tear drop island faces its own demons...
It is time to shed your crocodile tears for the plight of a ignored race
And wave all the colored flags...
Fighting for visibility....
The madness continues
The Afflicted claiming more victims….
And more monsters emerge from their lairs..
Sucking you into their world of chaos and hate…
Where are the leaders?
Friends turns foes..
Foes turn friends..
Silver tongued orators with regard only for their coffers..
Entertainers who hold the vote bank with their painted face..
Where are the leaders?I despair and
I am Pandora again..
And hold tight to that last gift ..Hope for a better world peace and tolerance ..for us, our children and theirs ..
Friday, March 27, 2009
I recollect my teenage years with angst and amusement
”You don’t understand” had been my constant refrain
The mea culpa’s after extraordinary adventures..
Stillness and Silence after harming myself and family
Acceptance in my mother’s heart..
Forgiveness in my father’s wisdom…
The encouragement after innumerable failures-real and imaginedStrength after a breakdown…the affliction of of our country’s school finals
All this and more………..
Then there was success –again real and imagined..
Days when I knew the world better
Days when the world served me bitter lemonsA place of my own-a home of my own
The happy years as an individualFinding love on the way…..
My journey with my parents..It is still on
The road was long ..It took me time …but I have reached home ….
To Amma and Appa on my 33rd birthday…For all that I am today … Love you both
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Here we are ..
On our way to the park
My son on the car seat-bouncing and cooing
His father’s proud grin growing wider by the minute
Rhymes on the stereo echoing our proud heartbeats…
I dream of a future for my son..
Butterfly wings ,dancing elephants , bubbles in his bath,fairy tales,animated movies , bonds and savings , a holiday house by the river….
Our car lurched to a halt
What is a red signal light when you dream of your son’s future
I continued to weave my web of wants
A furtive knock interrupted my fantasiesI was annoyed-
A child of uncertain years stared back
I looked at him –A creature of no fantasy this was -Soot ridden legs..
False “bloodied” bandages on his arms
His eyes twitched between the stuffed toy my son held and my “deer frozen in the highlights” expression..
Hunger or Fear Whatever ruled him ----WonHe shifted his gaze to me and raised his hopeful palms for a piece of silver..
The green lights went onAnd I turned my face away from him and put on my rose tinted glasses again…
My lips began their litany on the begging mafia , inadequacy of the government ….I went on and on justifying my apathy –
Relief at escaping a decision –Making a choice
My son bawled for my attention and I went back to my comfortable cocoon….
There are moments when the car window seems like the other side of the mirror
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
"The claimed reason for the existence of something or someone".
Who is living this life ?
Is it mine or does it belong to the unknown hand’s whims
Why am I living
For today or for some unknown glory on a future date
Voices loom ..
Closer-Dictating rules for existence
Meaningless laughter-Mindless Conversation..
Is it not time
To live my life…..
“Written during a really really boring quality training class”
Moving on the Asphalt
Swishing Around the Ankles
The Golden Cage
Printed Paper Bills
Progency yearning for a pat on the cheek
Is this successThe free spirit yearns to break free……..
Monday, March 23, 2009
One life is not enough
To quench that all consuming fire
To feel everybody's pain ...
One Life is not enough
To love with all one's heart
To meet the earth's rulers....
To climb the mountains..
To walk the the valleys
One Life is not enough..
To sigh over the pyramids
To walk beside the Kings
To whisper endearments..
To gaze at the ocean
Yes ..One life is too short
To explore my own heart
To know myself and discover the Socrates' dream....
I am a great fan of the bumble bee theory.
You can invariable find the quote in my mail signatures ....
""According to all the laws of aerodynamics the bumble-bee should not fly, but the bumble-bee does not know this and so flies anyway."
Lucky Bee-I wish many of us could do this -defy convention and go ahead and do what we want to do..
I am the worlds most reluctant engineer -A thwarted "Advanced English " student-I have faithfully followed the diktats of my well meaning parents and been an engineer for the past 8 years..
Today I decided to recognise the desire of my heart
Write , Share , Create ...